Lee Kemp

Good grief woman. Do you see Helen Mirren blubbing like that?

Here are my predictions in the key Oscar categories. Before you read on, I’ll give you a complete list of nominated films that i’ve seen. It’s very short.

Frost/Nixon, Tropic Thunder, Wall-E, Dark Knight, Slumdog Millionaire, In Bruges and Australia.

There probably should be some kind of rule about not having an opinion on films you haven’t seen, but you don’t have to seen the films to vote on them so why should I hold back?

Here goes:

Best Actor: Mickey Rourke. Hollywood loves a sob story (Rourke’s not Randy’s).

Best Actress in Supporting Role: Heath Ledger. He’s awesome, even without the posthumous** force multiplier.

Best Actress: Kate Winslet. 0 for 5. Can’t see it.

Best Actress in a Support Role: I genuinely have no idea. But my guess is Marisa Tomei isn’t winning. Unless Charlton Heston is actually in witness protection.

Best Animated Feature Film: Wall-E, despite being in the wrong category. This should be in Best Film.

Best Directing: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (though I want Slumdog to get it).

Best Picture: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. No idea why. Haven’t seen it. And Slumdog won’t win simply because I want it to. Sorry Danny Boyle.

Let’s see how many I get?

*If you’re gonna steal a joke, steal it from Terry Pratchett.

**isn’t posthumous a strange word? Post-humous. Who would have considered the dangers of mashed chickpeas.